Are You Allergic to Nuts?
by fififolle
Summary: Elizabeth's teasing lands her in a little trouble...McWeir Oneshot.


**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun, I make no money etc.

**Summary: **Weir's teasing gets her in trouble… McWeir oneshot.

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I was only teasing. I never meant for this to happen. And now I'm standing in the corner of the infirmary, like a naughty schoolgirl, with Carson looking daggers at me. How does he know anyway? Perhaps Radek isn't the only one who can read Rodney's mind. I can't believe I'm standing here, the leader of Atlantis, trapped by my own guilt. Unable to leave because I feel responsible. And I suppose I am.

Rodney had arrived in the mess, looking his usual clean, tidy self. It's always a surprise, as if the whirlwind of his mind would cause chaos in his personal care. He did look hungry though, and his hand shook a little as he grabbed his breakfast.

When he sat opposite me, I couldn't help but smile. I was alone. Who would want to sit with me? I am the boss. I have impartiality stamped on my forehead, which is no fun for breakfast chatter. Yet he sat with me, because he is my friend.

As he was about to tuck in, he became still for a moment, and carefully used his spoon to prod his cereal. As if he was searching for something, or the lack of it. It would have been amusing, if you didn't know how serious it was for him. I always tried to understand.

But a thought occurred to me, and I couldn't help myself. Well, I did consider the implications. _That_ sort, anyway. I mean, it was a little too close to the bone to do flippantly. He was still human, after all. But that was the point. He was human, and so was I, and I had waited too long as it was. Why not just say it, and if he took it the wrong way, or the right way, neither mattered. I just didn't consider _this_ sort of consequence.

I love teasing him. He may be a genius, but he has the gullibility of a three-year-old. I love it. One word from me can bring forth a thousand from him. And the looks on his face, I treasure every one. Yes, teasing Rodney is one of my favorite ways to relax. So I began.

"Good morning Rodney."

He looks up. "Good morning Elizabeth." He smiles.

"Are you allergic to nuts?"

"What?" Sometimes I'm not sure if he really lives on the same plane as the rest of us.

"I said, do you have an allergy to nuts?"

"Oh. Right. No, I don't think so." He waves his spoon. He doesn't think so? Definitely another plane.

"Oh, good. It's just, my niece once told me that she had to clean her teeth carefully after she'd eaten peanut butter, just in case she wanted to kiss a boy who had an allergy to nuts."

Then he was watching me eat my toast. He was staring at my peanut butter on my toast. He was wide-eyed as I licked a crumb from the corner of my mouth. And then he had collapsed, fainted flat out, slipped off his chair like a Slinky.

I suppose I should be glad that he didn't hurt himself. I mean, I am glad. That nurse insisted he come down here for Carson to check him out properly. He had regained consciousness immediately, but I suspected that was because his body had remembered to breathe again. Coming to the infirmary was a good thing, too, turned out his blood sugar was pretty low. I had to tag along; I was the one sitting with him, right?

So how come Carson seemed to _know_? Rodney looked pretty cross with me, I suppose. I guess the joke didn't turn out too good. Carson gave Rodney a little talk about snacking before he got to the mess. But the good doctor kept glancing at me, like it was my fault! I can't help it if I can stop Rodney breathing with only an innocent comment! OK, almost innocent.

Then Carson is close to me in my corner. He fixes me with his Scottish glare, and says very quietly, "Will you please be more gentle with our Rodney?" in a tone he obviously reserves for stupid people. He doesn't wait for my pathetic excuse. Sometimes, Carson is a law unto himself.

Rodney is rolling down his sleeve. He is sucking the last from the sachet of glucose gel. He is letting himself down from the bed, to leave the infirmary. My body is paralysed, but my mouth appears to function.

"Sorry, Rodney. Sorry."

He looks at me. He is embarrassed. He rubs his hand over his face, uncertain.

"I didn't know you would react like that. I was just teasing you. I mean, I meant it, but I was teasing. Do you understand what I'm saying? I wasn't just…"

A kind of odd, half smirk is growing over his face. He is enjoying my speech. Enjoying my discomfort. Enjoying my admission. In a moment, he is holding my hands, his face close and warm.

"I'm not allergic to nuts."

His words take my breath away, too.

"I'm having a few problems with your presence, though. Do you come with a health warning?"

I am breathing, but only barely. I wonder if I need oxygen.

"I think I need to spend even more time with you…Do you think that would help?"

I'm nodding, I think.

"Good." He said. "Do you want to have breakfast with me? Again?"

I'm nodding, I think. And when he kisses me, I wonder if I will be the one who faints.

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**A/N:** Hope you liked it! 


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